Nurture Meaningful Connections During the Holidays
This is the third post in my holiday series, created to inspire you and help you find more ease during this season. If you missed any earlier ones, here they are:
The holidays mean different things to each of us, and we all experience them in our own way. For some, it’s a stressful time full of planning and preparation. For others, it can bring feelings of loss, excitement, or anticipation. No matter where you are, this post invites you to reconnect with the true spirit of the holidays: connection.
Connecting with Yourself
I'm listing this first because it matters most. While I will offer some ideas, you know yourself best and can decide what is right for you.
Focus on Wellness
In my Chinese culture, we prioritize routine and preventive health practices. We have daily rituals that nurture and safeguard our health, such as making herbal soups, exercising, and eating whole foods. During the holiday season, finding ways to take care of your body and mind will help you stay energized and healthy.
Identify Your Capacity
How much time, energy, and resources do you have for holiday festivities this year? Decide (honestly) what would feel good and truly bring you joy. Sharing this early with the people in your life will help set clear expectations.
Take Yourself On A Date
I am the first to cheer someone on when they want to do something nice for themselves. It can be as simple as reading a good book in your favorite chair or as elaborate as dressing up and taking a trip. I personally love getting massages.
Connecting with Family
While family dynamics can be complicated, there are ways to bridge gaps and strengthen relationships.
Create Together
Doing simple shared activities like creating a holiday playlist, baking, or learning something new helps focus attention on what you're doing and can be a good starting point for conversation.
Presence, Not Presents
Suggest reducing or eliminating gifts and using the money instead to plan a family outing or trip.
Focus On Shared Stories
Ask open-ended questions to encourage family members to share highlights from their year, hopes for the future, and favorite holiday memories.
Connecting with Friends
For friends near and far, of all ages, and regardless of what they celebrate.
Have Meaningful Check-Ins
Schedule a time for a catch-up via phone, video call, snail mail, or whatever format works best for everyone.
Host A Non-Gifting Gathering
When sending out invitations, clearly say something like, “Your presence is the only present needed. I’m excited to spend time together.” Focusing on a shared experience or activity lowers pressure and expectations.
Experience Over Exchange
For those who want to give you a gift, suggest an experience or something they can help you with – they can offer their time, skills, and effort.
Connecting with Community
Spread the holiday cheer by sharing it with people beyond your close circle.
Reach Out
Find people who are most at risk for being alone or lonely during the holiday season and volunteer to spend quality time with them.
○ Older adults and seniors
○ People who are new to your area
○ Someone who is experiencing grief or loss
○ People living with disabilities or health issues
○ People who are living far from home due to their studies or work
Create Neighborhood Connections
Small acts of kindness like supporting your local businesses, offering to bake goods for the fire department, or picking up litter go a long way.
Meet Someone Else’s Needs Or Wants
Giving can feel more rewarding than receiving. Check with local organizations to see how you can donate or volunteer.
Connecting with Home
Home is your sanctuary. Connect with it in a way that feels restorative and supportive.
Mindful Joy Check
Surrounding yourself only with the things that bring you joy is at the heart of the KonMari Method® and remains very relevant even if you don’t know the method or who Marie Kondo is. Do a joy check with decorations before displaying anything. It will create less clutter and more calm.
Create Cozy Spaces
This can include using warm blankets, scents you enjoy, or displaying decor that holds warm memories. Try to create at least one space where you feel at peace, and ideally more if you can.
Focus On Functional Preparation
Functional organization reduces stress and makes future activities less chaotic and cumbersome. Some examples are:
○ Preparing guest rooms ahead of time
○ Clearing kitchen counters and surfaces before cooking and baking
○ Gathering gifts and supplies in one area and organizing them by category
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Gestures are powerful not because of how much money is spent on them but because of the quality and thoughtfulness. By focusing our energy on these genuine connections, we can create a holiday season that is rich, meaningful, and clutter-free.
Happy Holidays to you and yours!
