People Who Tidy: Elena (Part Two)

We began Elena’s story by exploring the 'why' behind her nearly 100-hour tidying festival — a process that follows the KonMari Method® for organizing every item she owns, category by category. Now, we’re talking about what it means to stop living for ‘what ifs’ and the mindset changes that happened when she decided her time is worth more than the stuff she has been making room for.

This conversation is part of my new blog series, People Who Tidy, where I share reflections with my actual clients during the organizing process.

If you haven't read the first half of Elena’s story, you can find part one here.

Today, we focus on both tangible and intangible results — how Elena feels, the lessons and realizations she's gained, and her advice for others facing challenges with their homes.

Q | Out of all the things that you kept, was there something that surprised you?

The Bible. I was shocked that I felt the way that I did about it. [Confronting] it was quite a challenge and a hard conversation. But it was surprising to process all of that and be like, okay, I can remember the good parts. It’s a little reminder of the power that I had even as a 14-year-old. I faced what I feel is a big monster. My dad is quite stubborn, and I was scared of him. Seeing that Bible reminds me of who that person is in me now. It gives me that spark of, 'I got this. You go, girl.' It went from something hidden in a box to something that’s on my bookshelf now. It's a reminder of my own ability and that I can do hard things.

Q | What would you say to someone on the fence about DIY organizing or investing in a home organizer?

I love DIY. I love being able to do it myself. It's empowering. Honestly, I did what I could on my own. You get what you pay for. If you want to get it done, and if you want somebody to help you have ideas that are outside of you or your family, it's really nice, at the very minimum, to have somebody else give a perspective on how you can change things and make it better.

It's just like an outsider's perspective. It applies in so many ways, like therapy —getting a counselor as a third party who looks in and says, ‘Hey, maybe you could try this.’ That’s been really beneficial for me. I’ve tried to do some DIY, but having somebody else be the accountability, and having somebody look at the space who isn't used to it — who can hear what you want and what you use it for — and then say, 'This is what I'm hearing. Why don't we do this?' It’s really, really nice to have that extra person look in and help you out with the little things.

I would say try DIY first. Look up some methods and see what you vibe with. Are you somebody who wants to live minimally? Do you want to have an abundance or be in the middle? Really think about your goals. If you don't mind a little more clutter, then define that. See if you vibe with a certain thing, and if you find that didn't work and you need more help in a specific area, that’s beneficial. If you just can’t get the kitchen together, maybe just hire her for the kitchen.

You have all kinds of options to do some research. I think [the KonMari Method] worked well for me, but it’s not going to work for everybody unless they want to do a very tedious version of organizing. Definitely do research and ask yourself what you need from this process.

Q | What is the biggest difference in how you feel when you walk through your front door now?

I feel lighter. My mental health has gotten a little better, and I actually have more energy than I did at the beginning. I walk into my kitchen, thinking, wait, this is my kitchen? Where did all the stuff go? I don't have to bounce around and look at everything and feel that guilt and shame of, ‘Man, I should get to that pile.’ I walk in, and I don't feel that embarrassment anymore.

“I thought you were here to just organize my home, like the shows, where you come in and just put things in boxes. I didn’t think it was emotional... there was a lot of learning and growing that I never expected.”

Q | How much closer do you feel you are to your ideal lifestyle?

It makes me feel a lot closer to the goal of having people over. I feel a little more comfortable if it's my parents or someone with kids. I’m still working on some of the exit strategies, but even that has been significant. When you got here, I had piles of things. I knew I wanted to get rid of them, but they’d been in piles for… I don’t know how long. Taking a look at the stuff and the cost, I ask myself: Do I want this pile in my home? Is it going to take away from my time with my kid or my family? Is it worth my time to take pictures and post them?

I was very guilty of the 'what ifs' — like, 'I might need this someday' or 'We used it once, I'll use it again.' If you don't make mashed potatoes, you're not going to use a potato masher. That's right. You're not going to.

I was guilty of holding onto things for the 'what ifs' and the potential of having a garage sale someday. How many years have I been saying that? Probably at least three. I’ve been saying, 'Oh, we’ll do a garage sale this summer,' and then another year goes by, and you make the excuse: 'Next year, next year, next year.' And then you’re like, 'Okay, it’s been five years since I said I was going to have a garage sale, so maybe I’m not going to have a garage sale.' It doesn't have to take that long now to realize my time is just not worth it.

Q | What is your biggest takeaway from this tidying festival experience?

Feeling better and lighter from dealing with a lot of stuff that has been on the back burner for years. I’m excited to see how to keep up and maintain what we've done. There is a little guilt on the inside, feeling like I might ruin it or make that mess again, but I think I’ll hold myself to it.

There were a lot of emotions, ups and downs, and learning about myself — learning about the habits I had before and how to change them. There was a lot of learning and growing that I never expected. I thought you were here to just organize my home, like the shows, where you come in and just put things in boxes. I didn’t think it was emotional.

I was a little worried at first. I was dreading sentimental items, and the miscellaneous category is such a huge category. I just didn't want to touch it because that sounded awful. Clothing and books weren't that bad, but miscellaneous is everything else. I didn't know how to even begin. Those first couple of days, I didn't know if I wanted to continue. I fully expected to be like, 'I don't like this, I don't feel good, this is not for me.'

But then, seeing my reaction and continuing to work for a couple of hours after you left, that was not what I expected. I think I even forgot to eat that day. Once that set in, I realized: 'Okay, maybe I can do this.' It was an up-and-down between 'I know I can do this' and 'Man, I don't know if I want to uncover all of that.'

I knew it would be good in the end, but I had to push through. I was fighting the shame and the guilt, even thoughts like, ‘There’s so much dust in here.' I didn't want to have someone over. But once we got halfway through, I thought, 'Let’s just see how it goes.' I felt like the universe was saying that now is the time to take that leap. The circumstances lined up; I had the time, I’d talked about it in therapy, and my best friend told me it was a golden opportunity.

I’m glad I stuck through. It was a lot of work — a lot of homework, mental and physical. But I'm glad we did it.

Thank you, Elena, for sharing your experience and unwavering dedication to building a better home and life for yourself and your family.