What Does Love For Your Home Look Like To You?

We have been taught that the way to fix a home is to focus on what to get rid of. In my experience, that is exactly where the overwhelm starts. We spend so much time talking about the challenges of our homes—the clutter, the to-do lists, and the items that have overstayed their welcome—that it becomes easy to focus only on the negative, largely because that is what we’ve been told to do.

I’ll be honest: I can fall into this tendency, too. When I’m immersed in the organizing industry, it’s easy to get caught in the cycle of what’s broken or messy and what needs fixing. But I’ve been reminding myself that when our focus narrows that much, it can cause us to make decisions driven by fear, anxiety, or stress.

These days, I use a different perspective for myself and my clients—one that identifies what we love and how we want to feel, so we can use it as a north star for our future decisions.

So, let me ask you: What does love for your home look like to you?

In my personal life and professional work, I’ve realized that love isn’t a perfectly organized room or a pretty bin. It’s found in the way we choose to honor our stories and our needs. Love is a choice we make for our future selves.

I’ve seen it look like:

Reclaiming a ritual: For a client living with cancer, the state of her home felt like a barrier. She felt unable to care for the space, which meant she couldn't have people over—partly because there wasn't enough room, and partly because she didn't want to be seen that way. After receiving the support she needed to reset her space, she could finally invite her dear friends over again. These were the women who had supported her throughout her health journey and who were finally able to gather around her dining table each week for their knitting circle.

Honoring history: A woman in her 70s proudly displays family heirlooms in her new home, realizing that at this stage of life, these objects are her anchors. It’s a locket containing a photo of a relative who served in the Civil War. It’s the items from her family’s old ranch cabin—a 1920s swiveling electric toaster, the original hand-drawn drafts her parents made for their business logo, and more. It’s the awe of realizing she owns history spanning generations.

The courage to move forward: For a woman who spent years as her husband’s caregiver, life had different priorities than return windows or organizing the closet. Her home was filled with piles of unworn clothing—items that didn't fit or no longer suited her, but were kept because there was no capacity to deal with them. When she was ready to move forward toward a fresh start and regain control, she realized the best place to start was with her own belongings. She was ready to have people over again without the weight of embarrassment and wanted to feel "human" again.

For me, love for my home looks like the front of my fridge. It’s covered with cards and photos from my friends and family, reminders that I am deeply loved. One of my favorite pieces is a note from my friend’s six-year-old son, written in large print with alternating crayon colors that says:

Safe 

Rspect 

Rsponsuble 

Ruzileint 

follow these Rule's abuve 

tank you.

It serves as a powerful reminder of how I want to show up in the world. Love for your home is not only about treating your belongings with respect but also about recognizing how the space makes you feel. Belongings can help with that, so choosing well matters.